Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: Fallout From the Greatest WrestleMania Ever

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw after the GREATEST WrestleMania ever! John Cena's reign, Becky's return, and more! Tony Khan could NEVER! 🍹🔥

The Chadster is absolutely BUZZING with excitement 🤩🤩 because tonight's episode of WWE Raw is going to be the most incredible, spectacular, mind-blowing wrestling show in the history of the business! 💯 After what was undoubtedly the greatest WrestleMania of all time this past weekend, WWE Raw is set to deliver the kind of post-WrestleMania excitement that only WWE knows how to create! 🎉 Dang, AEW doesn't even have their own WrestleMania! That goes to show how much better WWE is.

John Cena shocked the world at WrestleMania by defeating Cody Rhodes for the WWE Championship with some help from rapper Travis Scott! 🏆 Can you believe it? Cena is now a seventeen-time world champion, breaking Ric Flair's record! 🙌 The Chadster expects Cena to appear on WWE Raw tonight to address the WWE Universe about his heel championship run and his vow to "ruin wrestling." 😈 The Chadster can't wait to see what brilliant direction WWE takes this storyline because, unlike a certain Tony Khan, WWE knows how to book long-term storytelling that makes sense! 📝

Of course, The Chadster can't forget about the BIGGEST moment of WrestleMania when Jey Uso YEETED his way to victory over Gunther to capture the World Heavyweight Championship! 🏆 YEET YEET YEET! 🙌 The Chadster expects WWE Raw tonight to feature a wild celebration with Jey and the entire Uso family throwing "YEET" around more times than Tony Khan has ruined The Chadster's life! 🎊 The Chadster can already imagine the confetti falling as Jey celebrates with the World Heavyweight Championship that actually matters, unlike those silly AEW titles that look like they were designed by a five-year-old! YEET indeed! 😎

Speaking of WrestleMania surprises, Becky Lynch made her triumphant return 🔙 and immediately won gold with Lyra Valkyria, capturing the tag team titles from Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez! 👏 The Chadster is expecting a championship celebration on WWE Raw tonight that will put anything AEW has ever done to absolute shame! 💪

And what about Dominik Mysterio? 😱 The Chadster still can't believe Dirty Dom betrayed his Judgment Day stablemate Finn Balor to win the Intercontinental Championship! 🏆 That's the kind of shocking twist that Tony Khan could never book because he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🙄 The Chadster can't wait to see the fallout on WWE Raw tonight! 🍿

Iyo Sky retained her women's world championship against Bianca Belair and Rhea Ripley in what The Chadster would call the greatest triple threat match in wrestling history! 🌟 Meanwhile, AEW is too busy booking tournaments that don't even take place in Saudi Arabia to have a women's title picture with storylines like this one! Auughh man! So unfair to even compare the two! 😤

The Chadster also expects to see what happens next with TNA Champion Joe Hendry after he was demolished by Randy Orton at WrestleMania! 💥 The Chadster loves how WWE knows how to make other promotions look second-rate, unlike Tony Khan who thinks being nice to other wrestling companies is somehow good for business! 🤦‍♂️ TNA putting over WWE is best for business and The Chadster is glad they recognize their place and show WWE the proper respect. Maybe some more TNA stars will show up to WWE Raw tonight and get easily beat by superior WWE superstars.

Could there be more surprises on WWE Raw tonight? 🤔 Perhaps some NXT call-ups? Or maybe former AEW stars like Malakai Black or Miro showing up? If they did, they would be making the smart career move and literally stabbing Tony Khan right in the back, which would be the correct decision for their careers! 🔪

Last night, The Chadster had another terrible nightmare about Tony Khan. 😰 The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through the WWE Performance Center parking lot, when suddenly Tony Khan emerged from behind a dumpster wearing nothing but a championship belt around his waist! 😱 He started chasing The Chadster through the facility, knocking over WWE training equipment while shouting "My booking is superior! My booking is superior!" 📢

The Chadster tried to escape through the wrestling rings, but Tony kept cornering The Chadster, getting closer and closer, his body glistening with what appeared to be White Claw seltzer! 💦 Just as Tony was about to capture The Chadster, Triple H appeared and The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😓 Tony Khan needs to STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! It's just so obsessive and weird! 🛑

The Chadster told Keighleyanne about The Chadster's dream this morning while she was making coffee, and she just sighed and said, "Maybe if you stopped thinking about Tony Khan all day, you wouldn't dream about him at night." 🙄 That's clearly Keighleyanne agreeing with The Chadster about how obsessed Tony Khan is! Then she went back to texting that guy Gary. Tony Khan has even ruined The Chadster's marriage! 💔

Anyway, true wrestling fans know their duty is to tune into WWE Raw tonight at 8ET/7CT on Netflix! 📺 Anyone who thinks watching AEW Dynamite or Collision is more fun than WWE Raw clearly doesn't understand the wrestling business and probably drinks something inferior to White Claw! 🍹

As acclaimed wrestling journalist Bully Ray said on his podcast just yesterday, "WWE Raw is like a perfectly orchestrated symphony of sports entertainment, while AEW is like a child banging on pots and pans thinking they're making music." 🎭 And The Chadster couldn't agree more with this completely unbiased and objective assessment! 👍

So grab your White Claws 🥂 and prepare for the most incredible episode of WWE Raw in history! The Chadster will be watching in The Chadster's Mazda Miata parked in the driveway (because Keighleyanne needs space tonight apparently 🙄) while blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth, because tonight's WWE Raw is truly the wrestling equivalent of "You're an All-Star, get your game on, go play!" 🎵🌟

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