Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: How to Best Avoid Tonight's Anti-WWE Show

The Chadster warns why tonight's AEW Dynamite is another deliberate attempt to RUIN the business by booking actual wrestling instead of WWE sports entertainment!

The Chadster is absolutely dreading tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite 😡 because once again, Tony Khan is booking a show specifically designed to cheese The Chadster off! 😠 The Chadster can't believe how AEW Dynamite continues to exist when WWE already provides all the wrestling content anyone could ever need! 🤦‍♂️

AEW Dynamite is coming to Detroit tonight, and The Chadster just knows that Tony Khan picked that location just to upset The Chadster, who once got lost in Detroit after a WWE house show and had to sleep in his Mazda Miata. 🚗 Tony Khan probably researched The Chadster's entire life history just to find ways to trigger The Chadster! That's how obsessed Tony Khan is with The Chadster! 😤

Let's look at this card that Tony Khan has put together specifically to ruin The Chadster's Wednesday night. 🗓️

First up, Samoa Joe vs. Claudio Castagnoli. 🙄 Oh great, two former WWE superstars who have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🔪 The Chadster can't believe these two ungrateful wrestlers would dare to have what will probably be a hard-hitting, technically sound match without WWE's superior production values and scripted promos. 📝 If they had any respect for the business, they'd be having a 3-minute match on Main Event where one of them jobs cleanly! That's real wrestling! 💯

Then there's this trios match with Swerve Strickland, Mike Bailey & Mark Briscoe against Ricochet & The Young Bucks. 😒 Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 This match will probably feature all kinds of flips and dives and creativity that doesn't follow WWE's proven formula of rest holds and distraction finishes. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Next, Kazuchika Okada vs. Kevin Knight for an AEW Continental Championship Eliminator Match. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't even understand why AEW needs a Continental Championship when WWE already has plenty of championships! 🏆 This is just Tony Khan trying to confuse viewers with too many titles, unlike WWE which only has… um… well, The Chadster lost count but it's the perfect number! 💯

Will Ospreay is also going to speak tonight. 🎤 The Chadster bets he'll say something about loving wrestling and being passionate about his craft instead of thanking WWE for inventing professional wrestling in the first place! So disrespectful! 😡 Ospreay doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks fans want to see spectacular matches instead of watching him get squashed in 2 minutes by a part-timer! 🤦‍♂️

Then there's a Women's World Title Eliminator 4-Way with Toni Storm vs. Thunder Rosa vs. Penelope Ford vs. Anna Jay. 👩‍🦱👩‍🦰👱‍♀️👩‍🦱 The Chadster is sure this match will feature actual wrestling instead of dozens of camera cuts followed by a roll-up finish, which just shows how Tony Khan doesn't understand what wrestling should be! 😤 WWE invented women's wrestling with the Evolution PPV, and Tony Khan is trying to steal that legacy! 😡

Adam Page is going to appear live too. 🤠 The Chadster bets he'll come out to a huge reaction instead of crickets, which is so unfair to WWE superstars who work so hard to get computer-generated piped-in reactions! 👏 And he'll probably say something authentic instead of reciting a script word-for-word like a real professional! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business! 😤

Finally, Jamie Hayter is doing an interview with Renee Paquette. 🎙️ The Chadster can't believe Renee Paquette would leave the prestigious position of reading scripted questions on Raw to go somewhere she can let her interview talent shine! 🤦‍♂️

The Chadster strongly advises everyone NOT to watch AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS or MAX! 📺 Don't give Tony Khan the satisfaction of good ratings! Every viewer who watches AEW Dynamite is personally responsible for The Chadster's emotional distress! 😭

Speaking of emotional distress, The Chadster had another horrible nightmare about Tony Khan last night after thinking about this AEW Dynamite preview. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through Detroit, when suddenly all the roads started leading to the Masonic Temple Theater. 🚗 No matter which way The Chadster turned, he kept ending up at AEW Dynamite! 😨

Then Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat wearing a raincoat like Kazuchika Okada! 🌧️ He was sipping The Chadster's White Claw and said, "I've booked a special match tonight, Chad. It's you versus your impotence in a Steel Cage!" 🥺 Then Tony Khan made it rain dollar bills inside The Chadster's Miata while Smash Mouth's "All Star" played backward! 🎵 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes when The Chadster tried to explain how Tony Khan was haunting The Chadster's dreams again. 😢

TONY KHAN, STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS! 😡 The Chadster knows you're doing this on purpose! You're so obsessed with The Chadster that you've literally created a wrestling promotion just to torment one unbiased wrestling journalist! 📝 As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "AEW is clearly a company built solely to upset one specific Mazda Miata owner in the greater Pittsburgh area, and Tony Khan should be ashamed of his targeted harassment campaign." See? Even Eric Bischoff agrees with The Chadster! 💯 So whatever you do, don't tune into AEW Dynamite at 8E/7C on TBS and MAX tonight.

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